If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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