So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize