I'm going to jail i love you
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
