you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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