The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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