hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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