hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i believe in u and ur pee
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
