His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
