what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
