please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
