I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
