Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
