Me. At least after what I've been through.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
