i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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