Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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