Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
