Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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