I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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