she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize