youre lurking in front of me
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
