Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
