was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
