Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
