The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
