i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
