whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
