I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
