you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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