Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
