Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You're a waste of cheezeits
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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