I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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