I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
