Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We talked him into tasing himself.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
