i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
