hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
