I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
