Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
