You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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