come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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