he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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