herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
