Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Randomize
