Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
