It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
