my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
