hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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