you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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