theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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