my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
