I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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