Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
