I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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