Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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