I'm going to jail i love you
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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