There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
