Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
