He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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