well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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