i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Someone signed my nipple.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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