I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
