I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Soap is not a condiment
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
