let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
