Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
