You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
