my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
