I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
