Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
