maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize