I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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