Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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