we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
