if i can run in heels then i can drive
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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