Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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