we should wear snuggies to the strip club
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
