Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
only you would photoshop your dick
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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